Every now and then, I like to challenge myself to try new things because apparently, I enjoy torturing myself. In the summer of last year, Halsey came to Camden’s Electric Ballroom for a one-off, intimate show and I went to it… alone. When I saw the announcement for the gig, I asked around to see if anyone would be free to join me. I don’t have many friends, you see, so my options were extremely limited from the beginning. My sister, who I usually attend concerts with, couldn’t make it (as the show was too last-minute) so I made the stupidly bold decision to just go on my own. She wasn’t too keen on the idea and, frankly, neither was I but I needed to go to this show. So, I did and I’d say it’s definitely up there on the list of my biggest accomplishments in life. That, and standing behind Laila Morse, a.k.a. “Big Mo” from Eastenders, in a queue at IKEA.

I have been to a fair share of concerts but attending one on my own is something I had never even thought about. I remember the first time I watched a film at the cinema on my own; it was Deadpool 2 and the film had been out for a while at this point so the screening wasn’t busy at all. As expected, I hated it. I was texting my sister throughout the trailers, saying things like “I want to leave”, “I feel like everyone is looking at me and laughing”, and “I feel like I’m gonna cry.” People always tell me that I take too long to explain stories that aren’t even that interesting so, long story short, my sister calmed me down and I ended up watching the film the whole way through. I’ve managed to watch a couple of other films on my own since then but I still prefer to watch with other people.

I’m sure most people don’t pay any mind to it (and you may be reading this, thinking that I’m crazy) but seeing other people do things alone always makes me feel miserable. I need to come to terms with the fact that not everyone who eats at a restaurant, or goes to the cinema, alone is doing so because “they don’t have friends” or “their partner passed away”, which tend to be my brain’s default thoughts during these situations. I guess because I’m conscious that I have these thoughts about other people, I assume that people would have the same thoughts about me. Should I stop caring so much about what people think of me? Definitely. Will I, though? Probably not, but I’m working on it. Anyway, onto Halsey!

The day before the show, it finally hit me what I had gotten myself into. I panicked for a bit and contemplated just not going. Eventually, I decided to tweet about my anxiety about going alone, asking if anyone else going solo wanted some company. Surprisingly, I actually got a lot of replies and that, my friends, restored my faith in humanity. One user, Tony, messaged me privately and we got along really well (in the hour or so that we’d virtually known each) so we ended up arranging a time and a place to meet on the day. Wow, who knew that making friends was so easy?!

On the day of the show, I was so unbelievably sceptical about meeting Tony. I kept thinking “What if he’s not even real?”, “What if he’s just trolling me and there’s no one at the restaurant he said to meet at?” I was so paranoid. On my way to meeting him, I made sure to keep texting my sister, in case he ended up killing me or something. He didn’t, I can confirm that I am alive and well. When I finally found Tony, we exchanged shy but ecstatic ‘hello’s and we even hugged. I’m not much of a hugger but he’s so cute and French so I went along with it, you know, for the culture. I was so relieved; a real person! He had made friends with others attending the show so we all sat together in this restaurant, eating, drinking and placing bets on what we thought was going to be on the set-list. I was still a little reserved, as I was hyper-aware of how many unfamiliar faces were around me, but I was as comfortable as I could ever get in a situation like that. That was good enough for me.

We made our way to the queue where some of Tony’s newly-found friends were holding a place for us. I arrived in the afternoon but a lot of fans had already been queuing for a couple of days prior to the show. Admittedly, I was uncomfortable with the whole cutting-in-line thing but Tony had already cleared it with the other people in the queue. The reason I arrived so late was that I finished work at 3 AM the night before so I was exhausted. Tony very kindly came through for me and said he’d hold a place for me when he arrives at the venue. I wouldn’t have gotten as close as I did if it weren’t for him so I am forever grateful. It got a bit rowdy at some points, as masses of late-comers were noticeably pushing in. Naturally, I kept schtum and didn’t get involved. Drama? Never met her.

When we finally got inside, I was amazed at how close we were to the stage. I’ve been to the Electric Ballroom before but I’ve never been as close as I was for this show. It’s when you can clearly see the floor of the stage, that’s when you know you’ve succeeded. The show started at 9 PM and finished around 11 PM and those two hours were two of the best, and sweatiest, hours of my life. The last time I had seen Halsey before this show was at the Eventim Apollo, back in 2018, during the Hopeless Fountain Kingdom (HFK) Tour. Seeing her again, and so much closer this time, made me so unbelievably happy.

Halsey played, pretty much, her entire discography. I was so blown away by her stage presence, her angelic (sometimes intimidating) voice and how well she engages and interacts with the crowd; what an icon. Whilst performing ‘Don’t Play’ from HFK, she threw herself into the arms of the crowd. I didn’t manage to touch her, mostly because I was in shock but also because I felt like it was an invasion of personal space, you know? Oh, and my hands were clammy and gross, ew. But I did manage to get a pretty good video of it and H looked directly at me! Head over to my Instagram to check it out.

The energy in the room was something that I just can’t put into words. Yes, it was extremely hot and gross but it was amazing! I had completely forgotten about how anxious I was at the beginning of the day and, as cliché as it is, I just got lost in the music. This show pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and brought some new people into my life, people who I probably never would’ve met if I hadn’t had gone alone.

If you’re thinking of attending a concert on your own, I’m gonna put it out there and say, just go for it! It was definitely a very scary situation, at first, but I’m so glad that I did it! I got to meet so many new people and I did something that I never thought I’d have the courage to do and, heck yeah, I’m so proud of myself for it. When lockdown is over and we’re finally able to go to concerts, if you haven’t done it before, I challenge you to go to a gig on your own. Do what I did and get in touch with other fans, prior to the show, and see if they’d wanna go with you. Who knows, maybe you’ll find your ultimate bestie or even your soulmate.

Thanks for reading.
Stay safe and stay positive.

Love,

JK ♡