A 12 MINUTE READ.
I recently had my first paid photoshoot and, unfortunately, it didn’t go as well as I had initially hoped. Long story short, due to a disagreement between the client and I, the situation ended with me cutting communication with the client. This, of course, is not an ideal situation and stopping communication with your client should always be the last resort. If you have a disagreement with someone, regarding anything in life, the end goal should always be to resolve the situation and not part ways on bad terms. After several days of going back and forth with the client (and getting virtually nowhere), the constant feeling of anxiety every time my phone went off, having my character slandered and being made to feel as though my efforts and art have no worth, I felt that cutting communication with the client was the best decision, for the both of us.
Here’s a list of the 7 Things I Learnt From My First Paid Photoshoot, which I will be sure to keep in mind in the future to avoid another situation like this.
1. The importance of having a Contract
Although this was only my first paid job, I wrote up a photography services contract and sent this over to my client, in hopes of avoiding any issues between us. I have watched more than enough photography horror story YouTube videos to know that things can go wrong for anyone, regardless of your level of expertise, and that having a contract can help you to avoid this from happening. I was recommended to my client by my friend so they (my friend and the client) assumed that I wouldn’t use a contract or even expect payment for my services. This, in itself, should have made me realise from the beginning that they were not going to take me seriously. Regardless of how experienced you are, please do not let anyone make you feel like you are asking for too much by presenting your client with a contract. After all, the client came to you for your services and if you have stated that signing a contract is part of your terms and conditions of work, then the client should respect this. I personally think that if there is an exchange of money involved, no matter how small the amount, you should have a contract. The contract is there to protect you (the photographer) as well as the client, should any issues arise.
Of course, I wasn’t going to get everything right this first time, and I clearly didn’t, but I did my best and I would say that having a contract definitely worked in my favour. An example of this is when my clients asked to receive more photos than what was agreed upon and I was able to reference the contract, stating that “extra images must be purchased, as per the contract”. My clients didn’t like that I constantly referenced my contract but that is exactly what your contract is there for, so use it!
2. Go through your contract with your client
Tying into the first point, I’d say that going through your contract with your client is just as important. If the client doesn’t understand what they are signing, or if they don’t even read it properly, this is where things can go wrong. I, personally, did not go through my contract with my client and I don’t think they ever actually read it. Going through your contract with your clients can be time-consuming, depending on how long your contract is, but it is worth it to make sure that your client fully understands everything that is being offered to them and what is expected of them. For example, I had stated in my contract that we were due to meet at 6:30am, however, my clients did not turn up until 7am and did not even apologise for this. Out of courtesy, I did not charge them for their 30 minute tardiness but I very well could have as some photographers charge by the minute for lateness. Going through the contract, together, allows the client to discuss anything with you that they might like to alter. I also think that doing this would, in turn, create a better relationship between you and the client because it shows that you are willing to listen and negotiate with them. I will definitely make sure to go over my contract with clients in the future.
3. Communicate via Email ONLY
I’d say this is very much up to you as a person and how you’d like to run your business but I have found that using Email is the best way to communicate with a client. In an age where photographers are utilising Instagram DMs to secure photography jobs, it is important to note that if something goes wrong somewhere down the line, Instagram DMs are not reliable. Messages can be unsent by the sender and you could end up losing potential evidence if the matter ends up in court. In my case, the client was messaging me on Whatsapp but I forced our conversation to Email as it started progressing negatively. I ended up downloading our WhatsApp chat to my laptop, in case I end up in court over this. Although, I don’t believe they have any grounds to sue me but, you know, just to be on the safe side. Although using social media sites can make conversations seem less formal, I’d recommend strictly using Email for a professional job to save you in the future, should you need it.
4. “Your friends are not your friends when it comes to business”
I don’t think this is a phrase that people actually use. I just thought of it while I was in the shower (where I do my best thinking, of course) so please credit me as the author if you ever use it. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way and have ended up losing a friend due to a misunderstanding with a client. As the friend recommended me to the client and the client and I couldn’t come to an agreement, I ended up cutting ties with, both, the client and my friend. During the process of emailing back and forth with the client, my then-friend was constantly calling and texting me, telling me that I was in the wrong and that I should just do what the client (her friend) wanted. This was very overwhelming for me and definitely added to the anxiety that I was already experiencing with the client. It honestly felt like bullying and harassment and I wasn’t willing to put up with it any longer. At the end of the day, if your friends do not support or value you as a creative, sorry, but they are not your friends. My “friend” expected me to do this wedding shoot with the client for free, made me feel like I was overreacting when I mentioned that the client was taking a long time to review and sign the contract, saying “It’s not that deep”, expected that I’d just hand out extra images for free, simply because we’re “friends”, and just didn’t make me feel valued as a creative and especially not as a friend. If you are starting out as a small business, your friends should be the first in line to support you and be more than willing to PAY you.
On the same day that the client contacted me about this wedding shoot, a former colleague (and friend) of mine also reached out to me for some headshots. In the first message that they sent to me, they asked me how much I would charge. This made me so unbelievably happy and made me feel appreciated as a creative (shoutout to that colleague for being a respectable human being). And then on the other hand, my client (who I had never even met or spoken to before) asked if I would charge them for this shoot. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Something I have learnt already, after having only done one paid photoshoot, is that you must keep your personal life completely separate from your professional life. You must set boundaries and you mustn’t let your friends (or friends of your friends, in my case) take advantage of you just because you’re a beginner. I am sad that I lost a friend, especially because I don’t have many of those to begin with, but I still have my integrity and that’s worth a lot more than any friend.
5. Stay calm
As humans, when confronted, our first reaction is to just get angry. Usually, for me, this is a lot worse in real life and I’ll admit that I have struggled to “be the bigger person” and walk away from heated situations many times. Thankfully, this entire encounter was over email so I was able to compose myself before responding to the client. Addressing an issue when you’re in a state of rage is not the best way to resolve a situation as we tend to act on our emotions and disregard any logic or understanding (you’ll probably also end up making the situation a whole lot worse if you say the wrong thing or use the wrong tone). My family supported me through the process of back-to-back emails and text messages and I honestly cannot thank them enough for helping me to maintain a professional manner and talk through my responses with me before hitting “Send”.
Honestly, I wanted to scream at the client 99% of the time but, reading back through the emails between us, it is clear who maintained professionalism and who lacked thereof. Stay calm, think about what you say before you say it, read through your responses (with someone else, as well, if you can!), and try to maintain a professional front. Be the bigger person; after all, you are trying to start a business so you don’t want to tarnish the reputation you’ve just started to build.
6. It’s okay to put yourself first, sometimes
I am a people-pleaser, I am a yes-man, and I have struggled with maintaining friendships for as long as I can remember, so I very much value any relationship that I can manage to hold onto. In most situations, I tend to put others before myself and I think this shows, which is why I am constantly finding myself in situations like this. In this particular scenario, I had to remind myself that it is okay to put myself and my needs first. I like to think that I do my best to help others and make them happy but I am, slowly but surely, learning that I cannot please everyone and that not everyone deserves my kindness. People will tend to take advantage of this kindness that you show and attempt to walk all over you; this has happened to me for years now and I only recently started speaking out against these people. If you feel like you are being mistreated, communicate this to your client and if they continue to mistreat you, this is when I would advise that you cut communication with them. My mental health was all over the place those few days and £50 was honestly not worth the constant shaking from anger and being on the verge of tears. Just like in any relationship, if you are not happy, you should leave.
7. Know your worth
I do my best to help and go out of my way for others and I take pride in just generally being a decent human being. It is a slap in the face when someone takes this for granted, something that I am all too familiar with. Not once did I attack my client or my friend, in regards to their character, but I received emails and texts from them saying that I am “unprofessional”, “unkind”, “childish” and many more hurtful things. You know that your argument is baseless when the only thing you can do is insult someone’s character, a.k.a. low blows.
My “friend” texted me a few hours after I had sent my final “cutting ties” email to the client, asking if they could buy the extra images that the client wanted. As I had already given them this option on multiple occasions in several emails and texts, I refused to sell the images to the friend because I’d had enough at this point. After days of trying to manipulate me into giving them what they wanted and me saying “no”, they eventually realised that I wasn’t going to cave in and that they should just do what I asked them to do in the first place, which was to purchase the extra images. I did not need that extra £16 because it’s not about the money, it’s the principle. I gave them the option and they refused so many times so why should I then give them what they want after they caused me all this stress? Nu-uh, could never be me.
After countless days of disputing with my client (and my then-friend), constant feelings of anxiety and an insane amount of self-doubt, it was important for me to find something positive from this negative experience. I’ve come to realise just how much I have grown as a person in the past few years and how much I value myself as an individual and as a creative. I will use this experience to improve on my skills and better myself as a photographer. Although this situation was very stressful for me, I am grateful for this experience as I have learnt a lot about who I am as a person and I have filtered out people from my life who clearly were not a good fit for me. Anyway, we move!
If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! If you’ve had a similar experience, let me know if and how you managed to overcome your situation. If you’re a newbie to the game (like me) and you were considering doing some paid work, I hope this post can help you out for future shoots.
Thanks, again, for reading and thank you to those who have sent me tons of love and support on my Instagram!
Stay safe.
Love,
JK ♡